As I drive to work during the week, I enjoy listening to the show Brooke and Jubal in the Morning. Their phone calls can be entertaining and hopeful just as often as they can be completely disgusting and make you despise humanity for its disgusting degradation of virtues and morals. Yesterday morning was one of those days.
Every so often on a Thursday, they have a show where someone has a situation and wants to call in for advice on that situation. Now, I don’t ever have high hopes for these calls because every one of them I’ve listened to the person has made the worst decision they could. Yesterday’s episode featured a young woman named Stephanie who called with a dating issue. Before she got into why she was calling, she took an extra couple of minutes to try and garner sympathy. She went on a short rant about “dating is just so hard. I don’t have any hope. I mean, I feel like all the bad things that can happen on a date have happened to me and I just feel like I’m going to walk alone for the rest of my life.” That was the gist of what she said and she gave no real examples. She just said, “I’m hopeless and feel like I’m going to die alone and I’m tired of dating.”
This was necessary for her to do because Stephanie wanted to make herself seem like a victim. She wanted to justify what she was about to say and she had to not only convince the listeners of the decision she’d already made, but she had to play it up to herself to convince herself that she was making the right decision. The point of this segment is to hear advice from other people and make a decision based on that, but rarely do the people who call in actually call in to hear what other people say or to weigh the information presented to them. Instead, they look for just one other person who will agree with them–it doesn’t matter the reason, but as long as they agree with, that’s fine. They just call for the affirmative pat on the back. “SEE! I’m not the only one who would do it!” The answers could be 99 people disagree, 1 agrees. The caller always picks the one person that agreed to justify their case.
An example includes a girl who asked if she should spend her college money on a $10,000 ticket to meet Taylor Swift for 5 minutes. One caller said do it, everyone else said no. She decided to go through with it. The call was for affirmation.
So what was Stephanie’s situation? A married man approached her and said he would like to have a sexual relationship with her. Listening to them talk about the situation, that’s how I interpret the situation. He said, “I’m just best friends with my wife. We have a good relationship, but we’re not intimate.” Stephanie wanted to date this man if you can call the horizontal tango dating (it’s not). Multiple times she stated that “Everyone was aware of the situation” and then followed up with, “his wife doesn’t know he’s asking girls out.” She said he said, “My wife doesn’t know, but if she found out, she’d be fine with it,” and Stephanie used that as justification that it was alright.
Apparently, she didn’t think that if the husband hasn’t told the wife–is keeping it a secret from the wife, then maybe she really wouldn’t be that okay with it. If she was okay with it, why wouldn’t he just tell her? Why wouldn’t he say, “Hey, why don’t you come meet my wife/best friend”? Isn’t it normal for people to introduce the people they’re dating to their best friends?
For the entire conversation she’s talking about entering into a relationship with this guy while she started the conversation with saying engaged her by saying, “Hey, I’m married. My wife and I are best friends, but I’m just not getting the intimacy I want.” That, to me, doesn’t read as, ‘hey, let’s enter a serious relationship and start dating.” That reads, “I need a side piece to have sex with.”
She says she doesn’t want to walk alone, but what does she think she’s doing by pretending she’s getting a man when she goes after someone married? There are so many issues with this argument that I don’t know how women think a married guy is a pliable option for a soulmate.
Is her ultimate goal to be married ONCE, if at all? How does she think that will play out with a married guy? He’s clearly looking around for something better while in his current relationship. If he’s not looking for something better, then he’s at least looking for something different. Does she think that if he were to enter a relationship with her, that he wouldn’t do the same thing to her? He clearly has no loyalty to his ‘friends’ or loved ones. He clearly cannot keep a pledge. What kind of relationship does she really think she’ll get out of him in the long term?
Not only does this situation read as selfish, but it reads as lazy. Her argument at the very beginning of this segment solidified she was lazy when she said, “I’m just tired of doing this.” She’s tired of looking for a virtuous guy who she will commit herself to and also be committed to. She mentioned she’s been cheated on before by previous guys she’s dated, but she sees no problem with doing it to others.
I think, to some extent, she wants to enter this relationship and know that it’s doomed to fail. She’s fetishizing the idea of dating a married man and being ‘the other woman’ because she’s always been the one cheated on (apparently). She wants the romance and excitement without the pain of ‘I trusted you, how could you do this to me.”
I got irritated listening to this call because every chance she spoke was a chance to say, “yeah, but…” and she talked herself into delusion to justify her degenerate behavior. She’s not holding herself to a moral standard, so she can’t hold men to one either. She must know, somewhere inside her, that she will never have a moral man so she’s taking what she can get. I mean, I can’t even say I think she’s settling because if these actions and this conversation represents her values, I can’t say she deserves a very virtuous man. In fact, she won’t attract a virtuous man if she doesn’t see a problem with banging a married guy.
Stefan Molyneux has done a couple of talks on this before: the lowering demand for virtue leads to fewer men showing it. Fewer women are showing and upholding virtues and morals because they don’t have to rely on men to take care of them; they’ve replaced men with the state. So instead women approach men as a sort of piggy bank and clit tickler for as long as they’re convenient. Then, with the use of the state, they rob the men they never really made any promises to because they didn’t have to in order to get his resources. Because women don’t have to act virtuous or moral and they don’t intend to stick with the men they’re dating, fewer men are showing virtue and morality and loyalty.
Stephanie doesn’t realize it, but she, and people like her, are equally at fault for the hard time she’s having in dating and the growth of degenerate behavior in society. You can’t call for virtue while lying, cheating, and selling yourself. It’s so bad that she’s either bought into her own delusions so much she can’t see the hypocrisy in her situation or she’s naive, but to take an active role in cheating, I find it hard to believe she’s naive.
“He’ll leave his wife someday though. He said he loved me.” 99% of the time, that’s a line and they don’t leave their wife. If there’s a breakup, it’s because he cheated and wouldn’t stop cheating.
So all of the callers and messages they showed were against the situation… except the first one, which was from a guy… cheating on his wife. Sounds like a real well of virtue, right? So he got on the phone and told her she should do it. He said, “I’m currently dating two women away from my wife and everyone is happy. Everyone knows and everyone is happy,” he says in code. Every time he speaks of the situation he says, “Everyone,” but when he first got on the phone he said, “I’m dating two women and my wife doesn’t know,” followed by, “Everyone is happy.”
Really? Everyone is happy? I highly doubt his wife is happy. I highly doubt she doesn’t know something is going on. Usually, when people get married, it’s because they like the other person and want to be around them. If he’s dating two other people, he’s not at home with her and I doubt she’s happy. “Everyone involved is happy with the situation.” So why don’t you break up with your wife? Why don’t you stop lying to her?
These people claim everyone is happy, everyone is okay, and this situation is good while continuing to lie to the most important people in the situation. The guy who called in, ironic his name was Steve (you know, to go with cheating Stephanie).
What was the takeaway from all this? A woman complains about the immoral men she’s dating and how she can’t find a good guy to date then says she’s okay with banging a married man because his wife doesn’t know, but even if she did know, she’d be okay with it, but it’s likely he won’t tell her.
Shorter version: an immoral woman practices and lives immorally and wonders why she can’t find a virtuous man. (It would only be too ironic if she considered herself a feminist while she fucks over another woman because hey, why not? She’s lonely and her bits need a tickle. Who cares about other women?)
She continues to lower standards by perpetuating and acting upon the behaviors she has so hated to face in her own life. The most infuriating thing is: 1) the people who usually call into this show aren’t very good at forming arguments. 2) the callers don’t call in with an open mind to hear what other people have to say, to weigh information presented, and change based on the information. Instead, they call in looking for just that one person to assure them that what they’re doing isn’t wrong. They just want a person who to not condemn their behavior so they can say, “SEE! Everyone agrees!” If they can garner the approval of one person, they can rattle those words in their head again and again until it’s a chorus.
This is confirmation bias. The perpetuation of immorality and degeneracy is a disgusting sickness that’s harming our society and just, feck man, it’s beyond frustrating. I’m tired of seeing good people get screwed over by jerks who justify their immorality by whether it makes them feel good or not. Cheating on your spouse doesn’t make you a good person because he/she doesn’t know. Cheating on your spouse isn’t justified because you’re unhappy in your marriage. Most, if not all, marriage vows include some kind of phrase that means, “We’ll work through our problems. If we’re troubled or unhappy, we’ll figure it out. This is forever.” Yet divorce rates are going up and couples are not committed to each other.
Stop perpetuating degeneracy by justifying selfishness. Stop hurting other people because “Muh-muh-me tho!” Stop pretending you’re an objectively good person when you purposefully hurt other people and you disregard it because, ‘eh, I don’t know them.” Stop lowering the moral standard and then questioning why you can’t find moral people. If you’re not killing them with your bad virtue, you’re pushing them away. Someone with morals will never want to enter an immoral relationship. If you can’t find a moral person to be with you, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate yourself, your actions, and the message you’re sending out to the people around you.
Maybe, just maybe, you’re not a victim of ‘bad dates,’ you are the very reason for them.
Oh, and you want the cherry on the top of this? At the end of the call they asked her what she thought and she responded with: “I think they’re all just jealous. I mean, everyone seems angry. So obviously I’m doing something right.”
Yeah, okay. That makes a lot of sense. It’s not your moral bankruptcy and the fact you think nothing of jumping into bed with a married man; you literally see nothing wrong with getting involved with someone who has taken life vows to be with someone, but instead, people are just jealous that you have zero conscious and gosh darn it, they just can’t be as morally corrupt as you. Feck man.
Since when is everyone responding upset a sign that you’re doing something right? If that’s how you check yourself, you don’t need to bring another person into your relationship. You need to check yourself.